Sunday, November 4, 2007

Winter is coming soon

Dear Everyone, In front of me right now is Sis and Masis= Mt. Ararat. I am sittin gin a place called Cascade. A cascade of steps that over look the city and faces Mt. Ararat. It's a place where sweet hearts go to feel eachother amongst the flowers-- it is grougous. It is here from where I am writing you now. The wind is blowing a little, but so is the sun. A nice change from the growing cold days. Winter is coming soon. People do what they can to prepare. But for many, there is nothing they can do. It is the season of mastering all human potential for survival. The hope is just to be alive in the end. Last week, thwn I was visiting with families. I asked one father, is it possible to get used to the cold, to adapt to it? He said yes. But the many other families i visited said no. It is not possible to get used to the cold. It's a bitter chill that starts from the inside of the bones and extends outwards out of the mouth. No matter how many blankets a family may own, the children and parents grow deathly ill from the damp, frigid, dark winter. Inside their houses was colder then outside. If they had a stove to heat the house, wood is rarely found for the winter.

I watched a boy eat a tomato

I watched a boy eat a tomato. His mother leaves him weeks at a time because she works as a waitress is another town. This particular time she had been gone for a week. Before she left she bought a some tomatoes and bread so her 10 yr. old. son wouldn't starve. I saw that the loaf of bread had barely been touched and the 1/2 the bowl of tomatoes was still left. Not knowing when his mother would return, he rations his food accordingly. I asked him to please eat. He was embarrassed to eat in front of me and the other social worker. Finally after convincing him, he sprinkled salt on the tomatoes and in an instant his mouth grew wider then his eyes and scarfed the ripe tomato in two bites.

I remembered the sound of her laughter

Its been weeks already that the people I work with have been telling me that the land on which poeople live has been sold. I didn't really get it until 2 days ago when I saw a large four wall building be constructed. It's entrance held a large, elaborate decorated gate. I followed the social worker as she entered into the four walls. Inside was the earth-- ground, rock, open skies and a tiny little shack. Rich men bouth the land without telling the family. Now the family has two months to pick up and leave. The problem is the government does not get i nvolved with their citizens. The family litterally does not have a place to go. As I entered the shack I see 2 beautiful children sitting on a couch. I recognize the little girl from the say before from when one of the boys swung her around in a circle. She did it over and over again a still did not get dizzy. As I said hi to her , I remembered the sound of her laughter. This very same girl will be homeless in an Armenian winter in 2 mo nths. The problem is that this not just happening to this family. This is happening to thousands of families all across Armenia.

In the midst of it all, I am well.

The families I am seeing are touching me and I cannot and will not shake it off. These are people.

In my life right now, I am facing a challenge. Zangakatun, the organization I work for, that helps these families... changes their lives, will no longer be funded starting this December. One more month. I do not know the first steps in serious fundraising. I just know that as shaky as my first step is , I must take it.

So this is what my life is composed of right now. It's what stops my pen from writing, halts me when I walk. In the midst of it all, I am well.

In addition to work, I find myself grasping for empty time. Craving solitute so I can give attention for my need for reflection to learn the lessons that need to be learned, my system that needs to be relaxed, and my body that needs to be pampered. Sitting (meditation) has become a rare treat that I savor when it comes. Many volunteers here are on "Armenian time" relaxed. layed back-- doing some tasks at work and have the rest of the day for anything they choose. I am finding myself as busy or busier here then I was in the U.S. Often I feel exhausted and guilty for not spending time with my family. There are still 2 aunts and sets of cousins that I have not yet met. I plan to this week. Cross your fingers for me. :)
Not to mention language, time for studying...people say I am improving even though I don't really feel it.

So I guess that should be it for now.
Again, please know in the midst I am well. It is all good.
Love,
Viktoria


Furnace