Tuesday, July 1, 2008

rough skeleton and faith

Hi Friends,

I think most of you have stopped checking my blog by now, considering I have not written in 3 months. :) Wow, even typing the number 3 makes me blush with shame.

I think now I have exceeded the time being able to bare not letting you know what is going on for me, what I am doing...

After Vigen's death a lot has continued to happen. My time in Armenia came to a close. I had to say my goodbyes to friends and family members that I do not know if I will ever see again. But even with the sadness, joy was so prevelant as I was hugging them goodbye. What a miracle it was to find them in the first place and now, even if by phone or net, I can have them in my life. Unbelievable.

No, my dream of uniting my father with his family did not come true. But I am not entirely convinced that it will never happen. Life is too big for me to assume what will happen.

I left Armenia knowing that I will be back. I will be back out of logistics because that is where I will fly home from. Besides that, I do not know how Armenia, the country fits into my future. I just know that there was nothing else I should have done this year then to touch the land where my father is from. Because I met Armenia face to face, I could no longer deny this part of me. She is awake inside me and I cannot ignore that. That means somehow, someway I will live in an "Armenian" life. It will be interesting to see what this means in different places in the world I may live. I love having this part of myself that layed dormant for years, wake up. Now she is rollin' around, stretchin'- We'll see what position she finds most cumfy.

So where am I now?

Norway.

I came here to see Norway with a Norwegian friend that I met in Armenia. I had no idea that Norway might honestly be, one of the most beautiful countries in the world. It is ridiculous.

Can I just say that I was climbing a mountain in the North of Norway on an Island at 1:00 in the morning as I was looking at the midnight sun towering over the ocean. YEah, it happened.
Unbelievable.

I will stay here until the 7th of July. After that I fly to France to go on retreat in Plum Village, Thich Nhat Hanh's Buddhist retreat Center. After a week I will skidadel up to Taize, a Christian retreat centre. And then I plan on going to Paris.

We will see, we will see. Things aren't planned per say. I bought a rail pass that includes Spain and Italy, but we will see, we will see. Considering I know no one there, and I dont have a travel buddy yet per se.
I am soooo laughing as I type this, by the way.
From here on out, everything is high high high into the air. So high, I cant see it. So. Thats fun.

I dont know what is gonna happen , with who, when. I just have a rough skeleton and faith. That is about it.

So the skeleton continues on after France, I hope to travel Turkey and then meet up with my Norwegian friend and "do" the Middle East. Yeee haw.

So please write and stay tunned for what is gonna happen. Because this girl doesnt know.

I imagine I will write more frequently (not while in the retreat centres though (July 7th-24th) in order to manage my sanity.

Alright loves,
you know I love you.

Peace,
Viktoria


Furnace